Our Love Story 
Life can be filled with highs and lows, ups and downs but for me, life is good. When you look at me, you see a crippled man in a wheelchair and perhaps you think to yourself, “how can life be good sitting in a wheelchair?” My answer to that is Jesus Christ. I was given a second chance at life after a car wreck that nearly killed me. I want to share my story with you of how God got my attention and how His divine love changed my life.
I've been in a wheelchair for twenty-four years. It's hard to believe it's been that long. It seems like only yesterday that I was driving an Armored Personnel Carrier down tank trails where I was stationed in the Army. As a teenager I was proud to serve my country. Even now as I am much older, I am still a proud veteran. There is great pride that comes from having been a part of that great fraternity that has served in the Armed Forces.
I joined the Army long before I graduated from high school. I didn't have any desire to go to college so my other two choices were to stay at home and get a job, which I already had or to join the Army. Joining the Army was fulfilling a childhood dream that I had, so that is what I did. Those first few days of basic training I wondered if I had made the right decision. It was definitely culture shock to have someone yelling at you all the time and especially getting up before most roosters crowed. It took a few weeks but soon I settled in to a routine of early mornings, long hard days and lights out at 9:00p.m. I spent thirteen weeks at Ft. Leonard Wood in Missouri becoming a combat engineer and a soldier. Basic training did something for me that I could not receive anywhere else. It instilled discipline and confidence in me. I am amazed now when I think about how much I changed during that time. In 13 short weeks I became a man. After basic training I was sent to Fort Stewart in Georgia where my life would be forever changed.
The Accident
No one really knows what the future holds and I am proof positive that life can change in the blink of an eye. It happened in the early morning hours on a day I will never forget. The day was May 8, 1987 and it was around 4 a.m. in the morning. I had spent the night on guard duty and was traveling back to the guardhouse with four other men who had also spent the night pulling guard duty. We were tired, cold and sleepy. The next day we would have the day off. That is what was on my mind when the guy driving the car swerved to dodge a possum in the road and lost control of the car. When the car came to a stop I was lying with half my body in the car and half out. I could not move my arms or legs. I was awake but I remember very little. My roommate Brian, who was in the back seat, was the first to get to me and tried to make me comfortable. Later on that day, I was flown by helicopter to another hospital that was better equipped to deal with the injuries that I had sustained.
I was in ICU for two weeks before being moved to a VA Hospital that had a spinal cord unit. It seemed like every conceivable x-ray and test that could be performed on a person was done on me. Doctor’s poked me with needles to try and determine the extent of my paralysis and the level of my injury. That word paralysis took me back to a memory I had when I was in elementary school when I heard that a young girl named Lisa in Burnsville, where I lived, was paralyzed in a school bus wreck. I remember standing in my driveway thinking about her and wondering what it would be like to be paralyzed and not be able to move your arms or legs. Now I was living that nightmare and I knew exactly what it was like to not be able to move my arms and legs.
The bad news was I had multiple injuries causing the paralysis. I had a broken neck at the C-6 level as well as a lumbar back injury. Both my shoulders were broken as well as multiple rib fractures and a broken jaw. The good news was I was alive.
Adjusting To My New Life
A man named Eddie, who was an employee at the VA hospital, came into my room to encourage me. Eddie was someone who knew all too well what I was going through. He too had experienced an accident that left him paralyzed. I will never forget him telling me that what was ahead of me in rehab was going to be harder than basic training could ever think about being. Eddie was right.
I had been in a bed for more than four weeks and all I could think about was getting up in a wheelchair but before that could happen, I had to have a halo put on my head to stabilize my neck. I was no angel and believe me after they put that torture device on me I certainly was not an angel. I was wide-awake when a team of doctors and nurses gathered around me. A metal ring was put around my head and four screws were screwed into my skull to hold the ring in place. The whole point of the halo was to stabilize my neck so that no further damage could be done.
After the pain of going through that, I began to have a very bad sore place on the back of my head because the halo was too small. I told my doctors but for two weeks they refused to do anything. They had no choice but to do something after one of my nurses was turning me in bed and rammed my head into the headboard causing the halo to move. The doctors came in the next morning and took one look and said, "This has to come off!" After two weeks of this torture, I would not consent for another one to be put on my head, which is what they wanted to do. I opted for surgery instead.
After surgery to repair and stabilize the vertebrae in my neck, I began rehab. Eddie was right; rehabilitation was harder than basic training ever thought about being! My first day in the gym was a real eye opener for how hard this was going to be. My arms were so weak that I could barely lift one-pound weights from my lap to my chest. It was very difficult seeing all the guys who were in the same shape that I was in, struggling to regain use of their arms and legs. Some were so angry because of their situations and I myself had experienced many moments of anger.
In rehabilitation, I had to relearn basic things using new techniques and devices such as brushing my teeth, combing my hair and shaving and dressing myself. Having arms that were very weak made these tasks very difficult. I had a therapist that would come into my room early in the morning and give me my clothes to put on. She would show me techniques to help me get the job done. From the time I started dressing to the time I finished, usually an hour had passed. It was very frustrating. I was usually worn out before my day began. I suffered so many setbacks while in the hospital. I had problems with pressure sores, which caused me to be bed ridden for extended periods of time. This was so much for a 20-year-old man to go through. In the blink of an eye, I lost my health as well as my career. I dreamed of being married but I knew there was no way a woman would want me in the shape than I was in. It was very depressing to think about life.
Going Home
After nearly 8 months in the hospital, it was time to go home. Two days before Christmas in 1987, I left the hospital to try and rebuild my life at home. It was a very difficult transition because I did not have the support at home that I had at the hospital. It was just my mom and I. My mom had given up her life to take care of me. There was no way she was going to put her baby boy in a nursing home. The weeks and months that followed were very difficult. My home was not equipped very well for a wheelchair; it was wintertime and I couldn't go anywhere so all I could do was eat sleep and watch movies.
After spring finally arrived I had people from the church that I grew up in start inviting me back to church. I did not want to go because I was embarrassed to be in a wheelchair. I hated going out in public because of all the stares that I received. My mom always told me that they were just curious as to how a good-looking young man ended up in a wheelchair and she encouraged me to smile when people stared at me. I took her advice and I learned that people would smile back when I smiled at them.
I finally decided that I would go to church after people's persistent prodding but I was not looking forward to it. I went one Sunday and I thought that would be enough but that was not good enough for them. They wanted me there every Sunday. I really had nothing else to do so, I started going every Sunday and it wasn't long until something began to stir in my heart. God started working on me, as I would listen to His Word preached and taught Sunday after Sunday. One night while lying in my bed I was very restless and it was like God was speaking to me, urging me to invite Him into my life. I had done this as a child and was baptized but there was no change in my life. But God was so convincing during this night that I began praying for the first time from my heart. I admitted to Him that I was lost and that I knew I needed forgiveness and I asked Him to forgive me and I invited Him to come into my life. Boy did He answer that prayer! Almost instantly I had peace in my heart like I had never had and I also had joy. My circumstances had not changed, but my attitude and my outlook had! I can honestly say that my life changed that night for the better. Church was my second home and I began singing and going and sharing my story at other churches.
Meeting Dawn
It was at one of these churches that I met a young lady who was very beautiful. I had no clue that she was interested in me but when I started going to her church, she soon let it be known that she liked me. Her name was Dawn and she was a sophomore at Mars Hill College.
Dawn: When I first saw Curtis, I was instantly interested. There was something different, only I had no idea what! We met in church and rightly, church has always been in our lives.
I was only 19 years old, and of course I could never realize exactly what a relationship with a quadriplegic would be like. Everywhere we went seemed to be an adventure. Curtis would get his wheelchair stuck, we would face curbs that couldn’t be crossed, inaccessible restaurants, you name it but…we faced it all together and usually with much laughter! It’s amazing how God was making me stronger as an individual and preparing me to be a wife, nurse, caregiver and friend.
Curtis: I really liked what I saw in her. She was a Christian and she loved church. She was a pianist, which I was in great need of and she liked to sing. I was willing to add to my band, which only consisted of myself. But in my mind I was very skeptical that a serious relationship would ever happen with her. After our first date I tried to keep things in perspective and I shared with her that it would be good for us to not be serious but she did not like that idea. She wanted us to be together and if that's what she wanted, that's what I wanted too. So this began a two-year dating relationship.
In the beginning of our courtship our parents were not too happy. My mom was concerned that we would get serious and talk marriage. She was concerned that Dawn would not take care of me. Dawn's parents wanted her to have a normal life with someone who was normal. Dawn and I were adults and we knew that we wanted to be together. After dating for two years, we were ready to take the next step in our relationship. My mom finally decided to accept the situation and she encouraged us to go ahead and get married. Dawn's parents were not so open to having me for a son-in-law. Dawn and I had prayed and knew it was God's will for us to be together, so we decided to elope.
Dawn: It took great courage and faith in the Lord for us to decide to get married. I knew that I could possibly be giving up everything that I knew as “my life” just to marry the man that I loved. Eloping isn’t for cowards! But we knew that God had a plan for us, as man and wife. Another thing that was happening in my life at this time was a book that I had checked out of our church library about Joni Erekson Tada. She was also a quadriplegic who had recently gotten married! What perfect timing the Lord has in our lives if we will only pay attention.
On March 13, 1992, my former pastor, Grey Fisher, at Shoal Creek Baptist, married Dawn and I. We got married with very few people present. None of our friends or church family knew about our plans to get married. Dawn had left a note for her parents detailing what she had done. She knew her parents were going to be very upset but she also knew that we were supposed to be together. After we were married, we went away for a few days on our honeymoon. We heard from friends while we were away that in fact, Dawn's mom and dad were very upset.
After we got home from our honeymoon I was very nervous because I knew I was going to have to face my in-laws. They came to our house a few days after we got back home and her mom and dad hugged my neck and welcomed me to the family. From that day on, they were my parents. God had worked everything out and I was so happy!
Dawn: Our first year of marriage was very difficult, but not how many may think. Curtis was very sick and during that first year, he spent most of his time in the hospital in Georgia. We grew up fast! I had to learn to be even more independent and I think it showed me just how strong I was. Also, I had to depend upon the Lord for strength. There was just no other way.
In March, Dawn and I will celebrate our 18th year of marriage. Over those years we have grown so close together. I can truly say that I am married to my best friend. We are very active in our church, singing and serving in different ways. The glue that holds us together is our common faith in Jesus Christ. We have been tremendously blessed but we know that the best is yet to come.
Dawn: It seems that the past 18 years has been a blur. We’ve both grown so much in our love for each other and our love for the Lord. We love to share our testimony, our “story” with others because it shows that God is still in the miracle working business. He brought us together, even though there were skeptics, and we have greatly been blessed. I’ve always said that we should write a book. If I did, I would have to say, “in sickness and in health” …”they lived happily ever after…”.
The Difference
Sometimes we go through terrible things. Sometimes those things happen out of the blue, at the blink of an eye. When that happens we don't know really how to respond except to fall on our face before God and plead for Him to intervene. Sometimes He answers our prayers with the answer that we want and sometimes He answers those prayers with the answers that we don't want. It is my opinion that when God does not answer our prayers in the way that we want, we need to go on with our lives and learn from the experiences that we've been through. When I was going through those difficult days of not knowing what the future held for me I was angry, fearful and hurt. But somehow God brought me through and even as I look back on those bad times, I can see so much good that has come from the trials that I have went through. It has made me the Christian man that I am today. I've been very blessed with a wonderful life and if I could go back and change what I've been through, I would not do it. I can honestly say that I am thankful for having experienced what I have, that is the good and the bad. So if you're reading this right now and you're going through a difficult time, don't give up and don't quit. Always try to see something positive in the difficulties you're going through and always remember that God has a plan for your life. God can bring good out of bad you just need to trust Him. He did it for me and He can do it for you. Thank you for reading our story!
Curtis and Dawn Hughes attend Pine Branch Baptist Church, 48 Church Road, Spruce Pine, NC. You may contact us at chughes07@mac.com.